Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I'm just taking a few seconds to write something down that I've been thinking about, and that I'm afraid I am going to forget. Actually, there's good news and there's bad news. The bad news is, I'm about to repeat some words of wisdom I learned from the insipid (but entertaining) TV show Psych. So that fact is thoroughly embarrassing. Add to that the fact that, I think, Psych was repeating this precisely because it's considered a stupid cliche. So my finding it somehow profound is really just humiliating. The good news is that it is something that can help me in my relationship with W, I think -- in fact, I think it's already been helping me.

Here goes: on this particular episode of Psych, the straight-laced square detective (Lassiter) is being berated by some over-achieving genius high school students, about something having to do with his relationship with some woman. I can't really remember the details. Anyway, one of them says, "did you ever just listen to her problems, instead of insisting on fixing them?" Or something along those lines. It is, of course, a joke because it's something everyone's heard before. But honestly, I've always known that I react to people telling me about their problems by going, 'how can I do something about that?' And if there's nothing I can do, I basically get annoyed that they're telling me -- 'what the hell do they want me to do about that?!'

This is especially problematic vis-a-vis W. That's no way to react to the person who's supposed to be able to talk to you about anything. It's especially sad because I considered myself so sensitive and good with people for so many years. Anyway I've been putting it into practice lately -- of course, if there's something that I can do that really will solve her problem, I'll try to do it. But even if there isn't, I've been trying to just listen, and say, "oh, man, that sucks!" And things like that. Tonight I said "don't worry about that." And then I corrected myself -- "But, of course I understand that you're worried and why." I think this kind of thing is good. So I'm writing it down because hopefully it will help me to keep it in mind.

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